madmadmad

I'm so angry that i want to throw things and hear them smash
today just made that worse
yay.

...and here is Brown eyes
over 38 hours later, 16" by 20" caaaanvas
Artist statement: Here I have developed in my approach to dreamscapes.

‘Brown eyes’ is a piece of soul; a moment of calm with no storm to follow. Created with unique detail from the smallest eyelash to the smooth warped trunks of the trees, the almost floating images reflect the strange level of detail with which the passerby observes life. 

and zooom

 It's a huge picture, i know.. but this way you can see it all properly! x

Ps, BIRDY
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OmLNs6zQIHo&feature=BFa&list=LLD72QIttzYmK0rljM_Y4SfQ

Thinking like an artist and not a cat.

http://www.yuribaranovsky.com/9-problems-of-being-an-artist/
^ He has some fair points that are ringing bells far to close to home, even not being an artist for a living.
Problems with being an artist, time - My most recent painting took me 38+ hours all up over more than a month from my free time around study as a first year health science student. If you think about that - that's really a long time crouched over a desk squinting at the tip of a paint brush or mixing colours over and over again to get exactly the right shade of skin for the cheeks. Really the way to work that is to find a balance, something i have been trying hard at lately. I have been going to the gym three times a week, trying to sleep before midnight (fail) and studying a bit, then there's the art show that my piece will be in on the 17th. :)

There's always the feeling of self doubt, i have people congratulate me on my art and that feels amazing, gives me a little feeling of 'zing' each time - that feeling is the one i ache to feel during those hours of work each night. I'm not always sure of peoples' sincerity though, i always feel guilty showing someone something in person now (should i need to?) because it's almost like i'm forcing a "awwww nice one!!!" response out of them. Why do i show people my work at all? It's like the way a cat will catch bring you a bird, dead or alive, because they want to show you what they did and have you be proud of them. I'm always particularly proud when it's an idea that was all my own and not just me drawing a pretty photograph i found on the internet; for me an idea can take weeks or it can be a split second starter and then develop as i go. Usually i just need to be in the right head space for it: spaced out.

Another problem I've just begun to feel now is the selling part - I am not a seller, i can't force people to do things. There's a bit of a step between - 'oh that's pretty', and 'i'd love to keep that and put it on my wall to see every day'. I also have no idea where to start, and Yuri put the rest of it quite well "It feels mildly like prostitution." I finally decided on Friday that i would try to sell the painting for $150, though i still feel a bit weird about it - attached even.

Despite all this, i doubt i will ever fully give up on art, I've had it there since i was tiny - attempting numerous times to draw around my foot accurately whilst standing on the kitchen table, and drawing tiger families under my pillow at night onto my sheets with felt tips. Mum found me painting in my room on the carpet with no newspaper one day, i think i got red paint on the floor as she was out looking for the trouble maker and found me in the kitchen with my hands covered in red paint. She got to say "caught you red handed!"
However, as he said in his article: "It's better to try and fail than live your life doing something you regret. Live your life like it's the only life you've got - unless you're a cat or Christian or whatever".

Our Hayward hop was yesterday 

wake up your mind

I am quite ready for the uni year to end... so i can go to Melbourne, the beach, picnics, see friends, escape from the hostel (as i'm not really the 24-7 social type) and the food at home is so much more wonderful (at least i can appreciate that now). There will be sunshine, tanned legs, Gelato, painting and maybe even a job.
Today at Nathan's we planned a tiny picnic to catch up with some more friends, we are making chicken and then spinach & feta filo parcels: exciting to cook again! Then i came home to bake berry brownies with mum.  Tomorrow should be good especially with Jordy and Andrew's flat warming to follow

Upcoming things i have are finding a flat, art exhibition, biochemistry and epidemiology tests, BETs, GLMs, applying for my next year course, course interviews, and then final exams. Oh dear...

I have been painting and it's finished:

This is 'Mother' done in fine ink and gouache
The main idea behind it is a feeling of comfort and a mix from both ones mother and mother nature...

Following a suggestion from a friend i think any next pieces i attempt will be based on an individual, with one main factor to look at and explore rather than a collective made of pieces.
Some interesting artists at the moment are http://ghostpatrol.net/, http://mattw.us/
and then some stand alones:

Kitty Gallannaugh, a wonderful photographer 

Greta Tuckute

Style stalker

Sisters

Sometimes i forget how close my sister was to dying as a child
She was born blue and everyone was terrified
Baby photos all show her crawling around wheezing with a constant tube down her nose
As a kid when she coughed or laughed she sounded like a duck
We spends months living in Auckland at the Ronald McDonald house where i caught so many super-bugs from being at the hospital that i had to go to hospital myself..

apparently i was feeding her leaves, i am a fantastic sister

For a long time she was in and out of hospitals as she had such a rare condition, she was in a ward with other small children with serious conditions. I think one of the little boys in her room died shortly after we were able to go home, but another child with the same problem (narrow airway) is still going strong.

She had problems breathing on and off for a few years; one day we were visiting a family friend who became her piano teacher, i liked her house a lot as the pathway down to the house was made of shells and she gave me a glass window mosaic to hang up so that all sorts of colours would light up through my window. We walked down to the beach and it was a very windy day, then my sister stopped breathing. She was in a baby carrier that you put on like a backpack, so it took dad a moment to work out what was going on. She turned purple and we ran so, so fast home to call an ambulance/ the fire brigade. The problem was the nearest hospital was extremely far away, so the fire brigade got there first and was faced with an oxygen starved baby. They lay her down and took an oxygen canister and inserted it down her neck.. I have no idea how it worked as i probably wasn't very aware of what was going on. Maybe half an hour later the ambulance turned up and took her to hospital, a bit slow really.
She still has problems with sports and running, and had problems breathing on windy days (hard to avoid in wellington), but i would be walking home with her and she would put her hands over her mouth gasping as if she couldn't get any oxygen in as the wind was ripping it all away.

She was in the newspaper this year:
http://www.stuff.co.nz/dominion-post/news/6993009/Julias-venturing-against-the-wind, they got a lot of things wrong really.. but that's journalism
I'll bet anything she never said that scouting has given her the confidence to embrace life... seriously?
I remember the speech therapy but i don't think it was related so much to the condition, just her reluctance to talk.. or so i thought?

at least you have a doctors note to get out of cross country now!
proud of you xx

The ball

We just had our ball and it was pretty, it's theme was 'the secret garden'. Although it was missing a boy in a wheelchair like the book. There were fairy lights, strings of ivy and candles strung up around the beautiful old hotel room it was hosted in that had chandeliers and wooden floors to dance on. Myself and Kate took our time getting ready as it could be our last ball ever, and it turned out Chloe is a bit of a professional hair stylist in her spare time and curled my hair very skillfully.. though i then pinned it all over to one side of my head because 'why not'. Apparently it resembled Florence Welch from Florence and the machine's style when i added dark lips, a resemblance i'm quite happy with though i am not a red head <3 I do enjoy her music

We had quite some fun dancing all night and then out into town with the girls afterward, everywhere was fullest I'd ever seen it in town. We went to fever to dance on the lit up floor, someone grabbed me on the way out of there and attempted to perform a strange handshake with me involving spinning me around, knuckles and a slide-away handshake. Then we went to urban followed by metro where we danced to old music before the hungry ones took us through McDonald on the way home

 

Our RAs :)

Live band, they were pretty good

'bubbles' upon arrival

King and queen

Rainy Day

Study technique: Turn all the lights out except your desk lamp. Even if you feel like you're sitting in a cave at 1pm, it focuses your attention on what the light IS shining on. Thanks Wong!


Ever since open day when it froze and rained and soaked us because Caitlin visited, it hasn't warmed up. Drinking hot drinks and the occasional noodles when they don't give us enough food and seconds time is years away, I even went and bought fruit to try feel healthier. The mandarins were amazing. I've tried to learn how to row and really didn't like it.. i wasn't very good at all, of course if i practiced i could get better at it.. but i really didn't like it, I was scared we would tip. It's just not for me :) Also learnt a little while ago to surf with Hayward, we got lessons for free and it was really fun, I managed to stand up on the board which is something i genuinely thought i'd never do. 
My heater keeps leaking on my bed and now it burned me when i touched it


A singer I like at the moment: Casey Abrams, 19 year old. Sweetest person ever with some sort of crazy talent that you don't expect. He even sang with Jack Black, and the judges used their idol save on him - have a flick through, not to everyone's taste


The only audition i've ever enjoyed watching: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y-Eto8n-WJ4&feature=related
'Georgia on my mind'. You have to wait for it: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YI4RGwdEWZo&feature=BFa&list=LLD72QIttzYmK0rljM_Y4SfQ
Casey little thing called love: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cNCPzXavn5o&feature=BFa&list=LLD72QIttzYmK0rljM_Y4SfQ


I've been taking some photos to show what it's like at the moment, though no photos have yet/will ever be taken of myself dressed in fat pant, puffer jacket, fluffy hat, huge slippers with a mug of lemon and honey, which has been my classic take on girl-is-sick-and-has-exams-so-looking-nice-really-is-bullshit

Portrait made at the airport of Nirrimi
Incomplete.

From Judge

The last image is me today, that's my chemistry exam that i got to take home.. one huge pile of joy right there..


Time for Physics now

NYE and off to Tasmania now!

New years eve was strange
But there's little chance my mother would ever find this, so i may as well type it down to get it out of my head, as it was a great and yet embarrassing night. Also, It seems some people (dear Kate) found out some awkward things about myself. More embarrassment was to be had last night though; the count down to midnight to welcome in the new year was exciting, and I was caught up in the joy of the moment, the hugging and excited shouts of us intoxicated teenagers. Kate didn't want to be the sad one doing her pancake shots alone and asked me to join her for six. I forgot (no clue how) that i am not impervious to alcohol and wasn't too phased by the idea of doing six in the remaining 5 minutes, we did them in less, but i hadn't taken into account that hers weren't straight like mine.
It was the second worst idea all night, and caused bad, bad things.

On a side note, i DO like hearing lord of the rings hobbits in the background

Three hours passed in a blur. I've never forgotten things before but I've lost the details which are my favourite part of any party: the calls made, the quirks, how Tom was mumbling to himself all night and no one understood him because he was drunk so quickly and all that could be made out was FUCK.

my cat is squeaking in her sleep, it's one of the cutest noises of my life

I feel that's all of my night that needs to be told, managed to have my most awkward moment in my sleep at that. Once i felt able to eat today i ate all my favourite things that we have available in my house... Pizza left over from last night, then tomato cheesy pasta and then Mi gorang after dinner :) FATTEH

I'll be leaving for Tasmania tomorrow with Kate, Caitlin, AJ and Laura for a 'Venture' with 23 New Zealanders and... a good 1,500 Australians. Tiny bit out numbered? Yes. But then, apparently our accent is cute so maybe that could be a good thing!

Lost my camera last night :'( /it got stolen by one the the strange girls there who turned up after midnight - shady sort. I'm going to be in so much trouble if my parents find out, I've had it for like a week and it was meant for this trip so i didn't have to bring my huge camera with me. So now a game of deceit begins using Kate's camera to help me out, even though she will be sailing and i will be on extreme adventure for the first 4 days...... life is sad.  I really really hope they find it, the person who spread by things across the room someone in the period of 3am-7am gives it back.
My talking is done now, picture time (this is what I've been doing all day while packing)

 Kate, how about these for add in extensions, a bit mightier than your blues :)

 Life would be so sweet...

follow me on http://pinterest.com/sarahlatchem/ where i keep pretty pictures