Thinking like an artist and not a cat.

http://www.yuribaranovsky.com/9-problems-of-being-an-artist/
^ He has some fair points that are ringing bells far to close to home, even not being an artist for a living.
Problems with being an artist, time - My most recent painting took me 38+ hours all up over more than a month from my free time around study as a first year health science student. If you think about that - that's really a long time crouched over a desk squinting at the tip of a paint brush or mixing colours over and over again to get exactly the right shade of skin for the cheeks. Really the way to work that is to find a balance, something i have been trying hard at lately. I have been going to the gym three times a week, trying to sleep before midnight (fail) and studying a bit, then there's the art show that my piece will be in on the 17th. :)

There's always the feeling of self doubt, i have people congratulate me on my art and that feels amazing, gives me a little feeling of 'zing' each time - that feeling is the one i ache to feel during those hours of work each night. I'm not always sure of peoples' sincerity though, i always feel guilty showing someone something in person now (should i need to?) because it's almost like i'm forcing a "awwww nice one!!!" response out of them. Why do i show people my work at all? It's like the way a cat will catch bring you a bird, dead or alive, because they want to show you what they did and have you be proud of them. I'm always particularly proud when it's an idea that was all my own and not just me drawing a pretty photograph i found on the internet; for me an idea can take weeks or it can be a split second starter and then develop as i go. Usually i just need to be in the right head space for it: spaced out.

Another problem I've just begun to feel now is the selling part - I am not a seller, i can't force people to do things. There's a bit of a step between - 'oh that's pretty', and 'i'd love to keep that and put it on my wall to see every day'. I also have no idea where to start, and Yuri put the rest of it quite well "It feels mildly like prostitution." I finally decided on Friday that i would try to sell the painting for $150, though i still feel a bit weird about it - attached even.

Despite all this, i doubt i will ever fully give up on art, I've had it there since i was tiny - attempting numerous times to draw around my foot accurately whilst standing on the kitchen table, and drawing tiger families under my pillow at night onto my sheets with felt tips. Mum found me painting in my room on the carpet with no newspaper one day, i think i got red paint on the floor as she was out looking for the trouble maker and found me in the kitchen with my hands covered in red paint. She got to say "caught you red handed!"
However, as he said in his article: "It's better to try and fail than live your life doing something you regret. Live your life like it's the only life you've got - unless you're a cat or Christian or whatever".

Our Hayward hop was yesterday 

wake up your mind

I am quite ready for the uni year to end... so i can go to Melbourne, the beach, picnics, see friends, escape from the hostel (as i'm not really the 24-7 social type) and the food at home is so much more wonderful (at least i can appreciate that now). There will be sunshine, tanned legs, Gelato, painting and maybe even a job.
Today at Nathan's we planned a tiny picnic to catch up with some more friends, we are making chicken and then spinach & feta filo parcels: exciting to cook again! Then i came home to bake berry brownies with mum.  Tomorrow should be good especially with Jordy and Andrew's flat warming to follow

Upcoming things i have are finding a flat, art exhibition, biochemistry and epidemiology tests, BETs, GLMs, applying for my next year course, course interviews, and then final exams. Oh dear...

I have been painting and it's finished:

This is 'Mother' done in fine ink and gouache
The main idea behind it is a feeling of comfort and a mix from both ones mother and mother nature...

Following a suggestion from a friend i think any next pieces i attempt will be based on an individual, with one main factor to look at and explore rather than a collective made of pieces.
Some interesting artists at the moment are http://ghostpatrol.net/, http://mattw.us/
and then some stand alones:

Kitty Gallannaugh, a wonderful photographer 

Greta Tuckute

Style stalker

Brown eyes

Have been working on an art piece lately and it's almost finished, so far i have spent 33 hours and a half on it and it's called 'Brown Eyes'. My first attempt on mounted canvas for the exhibition
Chapman come in the other day and i think he quite liked it as now all the other RAs ask how its going and if i'm entering the Hayward art competition, so he must have told them.
While i'd like to keep the piece hidden away now until it's finished and pretty but i can still share my picture inspiration for it, and references i have been using.

Images are from Nirimmi, Kirsten Shaylee and unknown sources.
The feel of these images are how the painting will become, all painted in soft delicate oil paint
When Chapman came in he showed me a trick on my camera and made swirling shapes:

Also had Hat visit the other week, she is great fun to have around though was was rushing everywhere all day. We had a cute breakfast together that turned into brunch and when i ordered an affogato the waiter told me i was his idol for ordering ice-cream for lunch. Amazing food and far too much of it while we talked and then Hat was rushing off again for lunch and the chocolate factory.. saw her again in the evening as we had a cute sleepover with Kate that turned into us watching finding nemo with wine and gummy lollies, there were sharks and we put the sharks in our wine for fun. Hadn't seen that movie for such a long time that i jumped for the sharks and jellyfish like i first did. We were tipsy by then, especially Hat considering how much alcohol affects her now, so we took videos of ourselves dancing around, singing along to something on the webcam and were generally -too cute and embarrassing- It was good fun

(stolen from Hat)

Doing and not doing things i want to

My first year at Uni, it's being a big one and small at the same time
In the middle of exams at the moment so have been confined to my room in comfy ugly clothes
These are big exams for me, never worked so hard for anything ever potentially? But i cannot focus on chemistry at the moment so i took a break to do something different.. blog.
I have been watching how i met your mother has been a little bit overwhelming lately and if i start, i can't stop watching till about 1am and i am no night owl.
I am a first year health sciences student. Lovely..
I wish i could draw more than i do, the only chance I've had was on the plane home and i didn't finish it, but it was fun
 














Then i drew a cartoon jaguar for Judge.


When i go home i plan to make slutty brownies http://www.thelondoner.me/2011/06/slutty-brownies.html ,sit in front of my fireplace with my cats, see my family who i miss at the moment.. they have been sending care packages too, catch up with Caitlin (with slutty brownies) and sleep. All of course after a week of skiing in Queenstown with Max and Kate which will be pretty fun, i miss the thrill of going as fast as you can down a slope, although my calves are happy being free of bruises! Apart from those two weeks of escape, life does seem a little on a set track at the moment.. so i'll have to see what i can do to rough it up a little. if i can't then it'll be: Try to pass ---> work over summer ---> study physiotheraphy ----> physiotherapist ----> work and work and work We'll see about that.